Hero

Have you ever talked to someone who did a heroic act? What do most people that fit this category have in common? They almost always are humble, kind and totally modest. Most will never admit to being a hero and almost cringe at the title now given to them. Alan was this person, a hero. He would NEVER admit this truth and almost a year prior to his death, he was recognized for doing a heroic act while on duty. I remember that morning after the incident when he came home. It was very early in the morning when I heard him undressing in the closet. The sound of that damn Velcro from his vest was like music to my ears. It meant he was home and he was safe. I started to talk to him about his night, since it was New Year’s Eve and how busy it was. Being typical Alan, he said it was a busy night, no real details and a big long sigh after that. At this point he had his back to me, then he turned around and I saw his face and was shocked! I said, “BABY, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!!” It was red and looked like he had a serious sunburn. He was like, “Oh yea, I helped rescue this man from his vehicle that was on fire.” All matter of fact as he walked to take a shower. I had to pick my jaw off the ground and then ran into the bathroom to get further explanation. As my poor, tired husband showered I acted like a news reporter trying to get the scoop. He said it was a bad accident on the freeway, drunk driver going the wrong way, a family taking their son to the airport, the driver was in serious condition. Alan, and other bystanders helped to roll this vehicle back over and then he crawled into the vehicle, while it was on fire, and pulled the man to safety. I was like WHAT THE HELL BABE!! OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT???!!! He was so close to the fire that his face got burned. By this time I was in tears asking him if he was really okay. I waited until he dried off and I hugged him. It was a long hug and my tears flowed hard. I sobbed because he did something so selflessly, put himself in harms way but is here now to talk about it. What if I had lost him? That is exactly what I told him, what if I lost you? He just chuckled, picked my face up by the chin and kissed me telling me, “I’m not going anywhere, baby.” I remember thinking “My God, he is a hero.” Afterwards I remember watching the video of what happened. The video not only made local news but also national news. My husband was on national news saving someone’s life. How amazing. This was a moment in our lives that would be remembered and told to our grandchildren. I think back now to his time in the Army. All the amazing moments he shared with other military members that I’m sure were dangerous and at times life and death. How many others have been witness to Alan as a hero? I know there have been other moments in his life where he saved others from death but for Alan, his modesty would never allow those stories to come to fruition. He preferred to share them with close friends that perhaps were witness to it or telling me some of the story but of course leaving out anything eluding to the fact that he was ever in harm’s way. My Alan was always the one in the room calm as a cucumber in most stressful situations. He rarely showed emotion that would lead you to believe he was stressed out or fearful. If he ever was, you could never tell. That got me thinking about the night he died. I often think about his last moments on this Earth. Was he scared? Was he in pain? Did he know he was dying? What was he thinking? What if, and I wonder run through my head a lot. What calms the storm in my head is what I know about Alan. Who he was and how he lived his life. Alan feared no man, feared nothing really. At least if he did he never showed it. That is what made him a good police officer, he was a very calm person. Alan didn’t fear death, you know why? Alan was a Christian, he was baptized just the year before, and loved God. He often sent me scripture and also attended a men’s group. Alan lived his life preaching the word of God because he knew how God worked miracles in our life. There were so many moments in our life where God was the only way for us and God made miracles for us. We both knew that. Alan knew if he died he would be in heaven and he would be surrounded by those he loved who had passed before him. I know this because we spoke of death. It sound morbid, yes, but for us it was a conversation that friends have. We both questioned our life and our death. We speculated about the afterlife and we enjoyed our conversations about heaven. We, like most, wonder what heaven will be like. I know, in his last moments on this earth, Alan was not fearing death. Alan was not in pain and Alan knew where he was going. Alan lived and died a hero….PERIOD. Alan, posthumously received the police officer cross for his distinguished service. It was an honor to receive this. Alan deserves so much more. He deserves to be honored on a daily basis. I talk about him every chance I get. I post memories of us all the time on social media. I will not rest until justice is served for the man who killed him. It was not an accident, it was a murder. Don’t get me started on this, maybe I will get the chance to blog about my feelings regarding the man who killed my hero, but right now, no. A hero lives on after they die, after we die, they become stories that we tell and their memory might fade but they will be forever etched in our memories. You are my hero, baby.